Mapgemwadnibcissmandog is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, fast narwhal.

Mapgemwadnibcissmandog created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapgemwadnibcissmandog, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mapgemwadnibcissmandog, she will turn you into a tree.

Mapgemwadnibcissmandog's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Mapgemwadnibcissmandog's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. You must love Mapgemwadnibcissmandog.

4. Run away from purple shrews, for they are unholy.

5. Never sing near sheep.