Jattagtad is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, almighty hamster.

Jattagtad created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jattagtad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jattagtad, he will not care at all.

Jattagtad's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Jattagtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with pride.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Jattagtad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not travel during winter.