Hubbemnarl Satcarsab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-powerful wolf.

Hubbemnarl Satcarsab created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubbemnarl Satcarsab, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hubbemnarl Satcarsab, it will ignore you.

Hubbemnarl Satcarsab's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Hubbemnarl Satcarsab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Never talk about special relativity.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.