Homfonfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair cow.

Homfonfoss created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homfonfoss, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Homfonfoss, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Homfonfoss' most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Homfonfoss' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Homfonfoss.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Run away if four capybaras approach from the west.

4. Hide if seven snails approach from the south.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.