Fumbarnaf is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest wyrm.

Fumbarnaf created the Small Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumbarnaf, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fumbarnaf, it will not invite you to parties.

Fumbarnaf's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Fumbarnaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain kilts during rituals.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never talk about bats.

5. Never talk about fire.