Gadsatwab is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, narcissistic hyena.

Gadsatwab created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gadsatwab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gadsatwab, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gadsatwab's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Gadsatwab's Holy Commandments

1. Gadsatwab loves ants, so they must be respected.

2. Never feed spinach to nematodes while wearing kilts.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always look after injured tortoises.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.