Arnhubnig is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, uncaring guinea pig.

Arnhubnig created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnhubnig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Arnhubnig, she will turn you into a frog.

Arnhubnig's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Arnhubnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with joy.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

5. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.