Stafhubgad is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish spider.

Stafhubgad created the Tadpole Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafhubgad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Stafhubgad, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Stafhubgad's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Stafhubgad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine dolphins approach from the north.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Stafhubgad.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near badgers while wearing orange dresses.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always help aardvarks.