Wipnurlxem is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, merciful whale.

Wipnurlxem created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipnurlxem, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wipnurlxem, it will destroy your home planet.

Wipnurlxem's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Wipnurlxem's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wipnurlxem.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not keep nine moths in a large pit.

5. Never wear cyan skirts.