Gunzedtip is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonourable deer.

Gunzedtip created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunzedtip, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gunzedtip, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gunzedtip's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Gunzedtip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never wear blue corsets.

3. Never feed garlic to aardvarks while wearing green dresses.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Gunzedtip on top of all buildings.