Fudjopshav is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, witless jackal.

Fudjopshav created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fudjopshav, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fudjopshav, he will torture you forever.

Fudjopshav's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Fudjopshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peas.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Put Fudjopshav first in all things.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Do not cook food in pots.