Hinbabman is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, blissful guinea pig.

Hinbabman created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinbabman, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hinbabman, it will be very unhappy.

Hinbabman's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Hinbabman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Hinbabman's name in vain.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Never think about cell theory.