Ziggessdoss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome dolphin.

Ziggessdoss created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ziggessdoss, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ziggessdoss, it will destroy your favourite star.

Ziggessdoss' most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Ziggessdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Never bounce in the presence of sharks.

4. Snakes are not to be trusted.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.