Nullbimtarg is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, cheerful jaguar.

Nullbimtarg created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nullbimtarg, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nullbimtarg, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nullbimtarg's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nullbimtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Nullbimtarg on top of all buildings.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.