Hanbonkcab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, uncaring clam.

Hanbonkcab created the Whirlpool Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Hanbonkcab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Hanbonkcab, he will turn you into a snail.

Hanbonkcab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hanbonkcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

3. Always help snails in need.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about gulls.