Futbemmum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, grumpy eagle.

Futbemmum created the Sunflower Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futbemmum, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Futbemmum, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Futbemmum's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Futbemmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to horses while wearing pink skirts.

2. Always help sick swans.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Feed all hungry monkeys.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.