Fenfunsak is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, irritating meerkat.

Fenfunsak created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fenfunsak, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fenfunsak, it will jump up and down on your head.

Fenfunsak's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fenfunsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Never wear orange hats.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always wear red.