Latyatbig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, contented guinea pig.

Latyatbig created the Whirlpool Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latyatbig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Latyatbig, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Latyatbig's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Latyatbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while tainted.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Never chant in holy places.