Mumhomhug is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane crane.

Mumhomhug created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumhomhug, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mumhomhug, it will turn you into a slug.

Mumhomhug's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Mumhomhug's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in holy places.

2. Never think about spacetime.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mumhomhug.

4. Never feed lots of tomatoes to badgers while wearing black shoes.

5. Never pour water over plants.