Ortjenhas is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, irritating gerbil.

Ortjenhas created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Ortjenhas, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ortjenhas, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Ortjenhas' most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Ortjenhas' Holy Commandments

1. Ortjenhas loves birds, so they must be honoured.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not gather at bridges at dawn.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.