Konfatmat is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, slow toad.

Konfatmat created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konfatmat, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Konfatmat, it will turn you into a plant.

Konfatmat's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Konfatmat's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in moonlight.

2. Never chant in the presence of elders.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near squirrels while wearing blue coats and balancing seven gold spheres on your hands.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.