Funzigran is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, able naga.

Funzigran created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funzigran, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Funzigran, she will be very unhappy.

Funzigran's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Funzigran's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are not to be trusted.

2. Never eat parsnips.

3. Never wear white kilts.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near tortoises while wearing yellow shoes and balancing six aluminium spheres on your face.

5. Do not sing in public.