Wotflagontrow is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, effective butterfly.

Wotflagontrow created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotflagontrow, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wotflagontrow, it will boil you in a big pot.

Wotflagontrow's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Wotflagontrow's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

2. Do not eat tomatoes.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always help birds.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wotflagontrow.