Rotflyrap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, annoying dog.

Rotflyrap created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rotflyrap, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rotflyrap, it will be very unhappy.

Rotflyrap's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Rotflyrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from wood.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never think about spacetime near squirrels while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your feet.

4. Never allow sharks to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Always treat bats with great respect.