Jinfuncum Flagrapsom is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, sapient goat.

Jinfuncum Flagrapsom created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinfuncum Flagrapsom, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Jinfuncum Flagrapsom, she will ignore you.

Jinfuncum Flagrapsom's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Jinfuncum Flagrapsom's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine frogs approach from the south.

2. Never paint your arms white.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jinfuncum Flagrapsom.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Jinfuncum Flagrapsom on top of all buildings.

5. Do not cook food in pots.