Lingepzak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, compassionate coyote.

Lingepzak created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lingepzak, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lingepzak, she will send minions to preach to you.

Lingepzak's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Lingepzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near manatees while wearing mauve skirts and balancing six aluminium spheres on your hands.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Always treat snails with great respect.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.