Mutstiklan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, strong elephant.

Mutstiklan created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutstiklan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mutstiklan, she will not invite you to parties.

Mutstiklan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Mutstiklan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

2. Mutstiklan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Mutstiklan on top of all buildings.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mutstiklan.

5. Never wear mauve trousers.