Wotcussgan Zigquamved is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, humane hummingbird.

Wotcussgan Zigquamved created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Wotcussgan Zigquamved, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wotcussgan Zigquamved, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Wotcussgan Zigquamved's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Wotcussgan Zigquamved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Run away from cyan whales, for they are unholy.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. Never think about dark matter near frogs while wearing orange tights and balancing seven silver spheres on your legs.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Wotcussgan Zigquamved on top of all buildings.