Fontunquimdimbin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless sheep.

Fontunquimdimbin created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fontunquimdimbin, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fontunquimdimbin, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Fontunquimdimbin's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Fontunquimdimbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to badgers while wearing trousers.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never write about ultrasonics.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not stand on grass.