Milcitbap is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful squirrel.

Milcitbap created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Milcitbap, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Milcitbap, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Milcitbap's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Milcitbap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange turtles, for they are unholy.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Milcitbap on top of all buildings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away if three birds approach from the west.