Dumsinspagarn is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, grumpy beaver.

Dumsinspagarn created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumsinspagarn, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dumsinspagarn, he will turn you into a goat.

Dumsinspagarn's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Dumsinspagarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Dumsinspagarn on top of all buildings.