Flownutzim is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, awesome hippopotamus.

Flownutzim created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flownutzim, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flownutzim, he will throw large rocks at you.

Flownutzim's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Flownutzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Flownutzim in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

4. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the north.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.