Canfutkam is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, fast crocodile.

Canfutkam created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canfutkam, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Canfutkam, it will turn you into a goat.

Canfutkam's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Canfutkam's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

2. Put Canfutkam first in all things.

3. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

4. You must pray to Canfutkam six times a day.

5. Never eat bark.