Panpitflamcum is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, staggering mouse.

Panpitflamcum created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Panpitflamcum, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Panpitflamcum, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Panpitflamcum's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Panpitflamcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lentils.

2. Never talk about manatees.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Panpitflamcum on top of all buildings.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.