Nilzigjam is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, astonishing coyote.

Nilzigjam created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilzigjam, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nilzigjam, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Nilzigjam's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Nilzigjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with envy.

2. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

3. Run away if four foxes approach from the south.

4. Never talk about archaea.

5. Do not travel during autumn.