Butquimkom is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, two-faced centipede.

Butquimkom created the Sombrero Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Butquimkom, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Butquimkom, she will torture you forever.

Butquimkom's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Butquimkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Butquimkom in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.