Bongetflap Pangsatflig Honbasszig is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, loving gerbil.

Bongetflap Pangsatflig Honbasszig created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bongetflap Pangsatflig Honbasszig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bongetflap Pangsatflig Honbasszig, it will throw large rocks at you.

Bongetflap Pangsatflig Honbasszig's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bongetflap Pangsatflig Honbasszig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never stain your feet with fawn.

3. Never gather four turtles near bridges.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not prepare apples while filled with joy.