Dobgetfen is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, emotional meerkat.

Dobgetfen created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobgetfen, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dobgetfen, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dobgetfen's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Dobgetfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Always treat voles with great respect.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.