Labbessgom is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-powerful swallow.

Labbessgom created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Labbessgom, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Labbessgom, she will turn you into a slug.

Labbessgom's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Labbessgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

2. Heed all portents.

3. Always count to six before sleeping.

4. Never sing in the presence of great tits.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Labbessgom.