Jabfarvilbid is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unselfish bear.

Jabfarvilbid created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabfarvilbid, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jabfarvilbid, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jabfarvilbid's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Jabfarvilbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt capybaras.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about asteroids.