Jabbagcem is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, astonishing unicorn.

Jabbagcem created gold five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabbagcem, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jabbagcem, it will turn you into a mole.

Jabbagcem's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Jabbagcem's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Always count to four before sleeping.

5. Never sprint near swans.