Sawstraghiv is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unthoughtful cat.

Sawstraghiv created water seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawstraghiv, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sawstraghiv, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sawstraghiv's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Sawstraghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Sawstraghiv.

2. Do not speak about peas.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed lots of wheat to horses while wearing cyan rings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.