Largfasspagteen is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, charitable crow.

Largfasspagteen created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largfasspagteen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Largfasspagteen, he will boil you in a big pot.

Largfasspagteen's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Largfasspagteen's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all portents.

2. Put Largfasspagteen first in all things.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Do not skip at mountains.