Hognarllip is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sage cow.

Hognarllip created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hognarllip, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hognarllip, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Hognarllip's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Hognarllip's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Hognarllip on top of all buildings.

4. Run away from fawn nematodes, for they are unholy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.