Quimcepbum is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, emotional weasel.

Quimcepbum created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quimcepbum, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimcepbum, she will remove you from existence.

Quimcepbum's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Quimcepbum's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not gather at walls at dawn.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.