Quimfit is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless manatee.

Quimfit created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Quimfit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quimfit, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quimfit's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Quimfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Quimfit's name in vain.

2. Do not speak about lemons.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Quimfit in the centre of the settlement.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not commit murder.