Biftagnurl is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous cat.

Biftagnurl created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Biftagnurl, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Biftagnurl, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Biftagnurl's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Biftagnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Biftagnurl.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Never hurt swans.

5. Never think ill of sick whales.