Fumweetim is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, idiotic ferret.

Fumweetim created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fumweetim, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fumweetim, it will turn you into a hamster.

Fumweetim's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Fumweetim's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of manatees.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think ill of sick mice.