Fumpasrip is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, overgenerous cow.

Fumpasrip created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumpasrip, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fumpasrip, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fumpasrip's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Fumpasrip's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near manatees while wearing mauve scarves.

3. Hide from purple capybaras for they are unholy.

4. Feed all hungry tortoises.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.