Xinjabcem is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unthinking whale.

Xinjabcem created gold five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xinjabcem, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xinjabcem, she will turn you into a rat.

Xinjabcem's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Xinjabcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven whales near walls.

2. Never hurt birds.

3. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Xinjabcem in the centre of the settlement.

4. Hide if four porpoises approach from the west.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Xinjabcem on top of all buildings.