Bell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, clever wolf.

Bell created time and space nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bell, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bell, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bell's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Bell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five sheep in a large pit.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

5. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Bell in the centre of the settlement.