Jadzigart Tinyartkap is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, stupid cat.

Jadzigart Tinyartkap created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jadzigart Tinyartkap, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jadzigart Tinyartkap, she will turn you into a slug.

Jadzigart Tinyartkap's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Jadzigart Tinyartkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not kill grasshopers.

3. Never hop near manatees.

4. Never feed spinach to sharks while wearing green dresses.

5. Never look at planets.