Narlcarmon is a god.

It takes the form of a small, humorless newt.

Narlcarmon created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlcarmon, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Narlcarmon, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Narlcarmon's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Narlcarmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near mice while wearing gray shorts and balancing seven copper spheres on your face.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never hurt ants.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.