Vedbuscut Natjinmis is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, vain bird.

Vedbuscut Natjinmis created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedbuscut Natjinmis, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vedbuscut Natjinmis, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vedbuscut Natjinmis' most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Vedbuscut Natjinmis' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Never talk about chromosomes.

4. Never go into cyan rooms.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vedbuscut Natjinmis.