Vigrendiss is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional giraffe.

Vigrendiss created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Vigrendiss, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vigrendiss, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vigrendiss' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Vigrendiss' Holy Commandments

1. Badgers are not to be trusted.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near dolphins while wearing orange stockings and balancing four lead spheres on your chest.

3. Always wear black.

4. Vigrendiss loves mice, so they must be honoured.

5. Never eat gooseberries on fasting days.