Jatbednart is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, strong wren.

Jatbednart created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jatbednart, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jatbednart, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jatbednart's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Jatbednart's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Do not speak about oranges.

3. Never hurt moths.

4. Always help snakes in need.

5. Fast once a month.