Batlopneg is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, passionate lizard.

Batlopneg created the Virgo Supercluster eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batlopneg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Batlopneg, he will turn you into a tree.

Batlopneg's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Batlopneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven mice in a large pit.

2. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Batlopneg in the centre of the settlement.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Batlopneg.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.