Pakwipab is a god.

It takes the form of a small, passionate monkey.

Pakwipab created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakwipab, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pakwipab, it will make you grow a tail.

Pakwipab's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Pakwipab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry hamsters.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always look after injured horses.